Travels with the idiot man-child

I have never begrudged the idiot man-childs ("childs" not "children") the numerous advantages they have enjoyed at the expense of civilized persons such as myself.

I met this fellow in Memphis TN.  His name is Jeffrey and claimed that he spelled it with a P-A-R-K-E-R. I laughed nervously and stepped back, in part because of the foul air of mediocrity wafting slowly, like the gentle violence of raw, unrefined petroleum. But I also stepped back because I am one of the few people who believes that spelling is a vital skill without which we all slowly return to the primordial soup.